As an evangelical Christian, you may have heard the term "deconstruction" used by you or your friends in recent years. This term has been applied both correctly and incorrectly, sometimes abused, yet it can also be helpful in understanding our spiritual walk.
The term sounds intimidating. It evokes feelings of devastation and implies a deep level of introspection in one’s spiritual walk. It may not be mentioned in every Sunday sermon, but it is a critical part of many journeys as someone grows.
What Is It?
Deconstruction frequently occurs when someone raised in a particular tradition (like Christianity) begins to analyze the philosophical and literary language that shaped their belief system. They learn to question assumptions and not take everything at face value. This process may manifest in various ways, like examining the theological implications of worship songs, wondering why a widow in the congregation is in need, experiencing mistreatment from a pastor or church leader, or feeling isolated in the middle of hundreds of people you call family.
There is no simple definition or clear path to describe deconstruction; each person's story and experiences are vastly different. While the term may not be found in Scripture, many people within the Church resonate with it.
Put simply, in the evangelical world, deconstruction is a dismantling of someone’s beliefs of what it means to be a Christian.
What Does It Look Like?
Before I understood what deconstruction meant, I often felt disoriented. I attended a Christian college, was raised in a Christian home, and had a relatively simple life. Yet, that didn't prevent me from asking, "How can God be good if the world is so evil?" and "If the Church was given the same Bible, why does everyone think differently about it?"
In high school, I was the worship leader for my youth group and larger services. The people around me affirmed my gifting in singing and playing guitar. I had prayed that God would show me 'the way' for His will, and I determined it was to grow my skills as a worship leader. I applied to a Christian college to get a degree in their worship arts program, which was part of an esteemed conservatory. Within one semester, they had determined my classical voice wasn’t good enough to continue in the program and cut my acceptance, effectively telling me my 'calling from God' wasn’t true.
As a new adult, on my own, I believed I knew my purpose from God. But that purpose could be taken away by one person. This led me to wonder if my family and friends were blindly following a story they had been told. I have seen some friends begin their deconstruction because they looked up to pastors who fell to lust and cheated on their wives. Others started their deconstruction when they realized the depth of brokenness in the world. For me, several realizations led to my deconstruction, one of them being when I learned how widespread human trafficking is.
In seminaries, churches, and communities, deconstruction starts when doctrines begin to be challenged. Questions arise such as: Why can’t women be pastors? Why did God allow for people to be gay and seemingly chain them to a life of celibacy while others get to experience love from a spouse? Does God predetermine who He saves?
There are accounts dedicated to providing a space for people to feel comfortable asking these questions about God or faith—often without using Scripture as the foundation. This makes sense, as I also did not want to read the Bible when I had these questions. Reading the Bible felt like entering a never-ending feedback loop with circular reasoning. I needed my thoughts to align with how reality was presenting itself, so it only made sense to look externally. There will be more on this later in the series.
Deconstruction can show up in different forms as it is a highly subjective experience. For me, it manifested as anxiety and an inability to sit through a Sunday service, so I stopped attending church. I would read the Bible and the words would do nothing. I wondered why my brother didn’t feel accepted at church and thought Christians were hateful hypocrites. Prayer felt ineffective, God claimed He was good, people were hurting, and I told God that I was done.
Moving Forward
Deconstruction is a deeply personal, lonley, and often painful journey, but it can also lead to profound growth and a more authentic faith. It's important to approach this process with grace and understanding, both for ourselves and others who may be on similar paths. As we ask these challenging questions and walk through new experiences, we can find new ways to connect with God and our communities, hopefully leaving behind our naive understanding of certain doctrines and practices and finding God.
The rest of this series will walk through my journey, how to navigate community during deconstruction and questioning, how to lament and what it looks like to grow well.
Comments